June 2011
1 post
Long time no write...
Oh God, it’s been a long time since my last post. Guess i’ve been too busy with moving from Paris. But that’s it, I left the city for good. No more dramas, deception and useless questions.
Time for a fresh start, feels good. It’ll start with getting my driver’s licence, finding a job and a flat in Lyon.
As for boys and drama, I’ve had a few but nothing...
April 2011
1 post
Thougt I was stronger...
I like to think that i’m a pretty good kisser I like to think I maybe broke a few hearts But since I met you I’m a victim of disaster I like to think I got it down to an art So here’s where the problem starts You’re shitting on my heart Oh I can’t take it again and again and again All I wanted from you Was a night maybe two You beat me at my own game No, it’s...
March 2011
6 posts
Overated
I posted a while ago about how I tend to overestimate people, damn I did it again. Time to go back to the don’t-care-jaded me! And I’m not sad about it, expecting nothing is a form of relief. Learning disgusting things about people you used to care about sure helps!
New day...
First Day : Sadness & Crying, Second day : Anger & Revenge feeling, Today : I feel good and relaxed. I guess I always knew he didn’t give a shit , so it’s no surprise. Guys are like starfishes, they have short time meory loss. I think he meant these things he did and said at the moment and woke up the next like nothing happenend. I know it’s kinda hard to...
There will be blood
When heart and mind dn’t get along, I’m stuck in between. I don’t see this ending well. I’m fuckin lost, I even wonder if leaving Paris is a good idea, I’m so missing my friends and the city. Carrie would never leave NYC, right? Well, the bitch can totally afford it when I can’t. And she ends up with Big when i don’t. Damn….
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, LET ME GET WHAT I WANT
Good times for a change See, the luck I’ve had Can make a good man Turn bad So please please please Let me, let me, let me Let me get what I want This time Haven’t had a dream in a long time See, the life I’ve had Can make a good man bad So for once in my life Let me get what I want Lord knows, it would be the first time Lord knows, it would be the first time
Don't blame the player, blame the game...
I like to think he’s not playing but damn he’s good at confusing me. Saw him this week end and things went a bit too far,leaving me with doubts (but no regrets). I love him, that’s a fact, but after months of trying to keep on living, he’s back in my head with all these things he did and told me. I know I should expect nothing, it fuckin hurts. Fuck you guys, fuck you fairy...
October 2010
1 post
well...
haven’t posted for a while, nothing revelant to write about. taking care of myself, at least trying. Too much thoughts and questions in my head. Indecision and doubts about future feel like a burden I’m tired to carry. I’m starting to know what I want and don’t want but in some ways , I guess I’m waiting for some outside events and signs to help me know I’m on...
September 2010
7 posts
Well...
Nothing new under the sun of this last day of summer. Feeling slowly better, taking care of myself and stop caring about useless or hurting things… Guess I’m on the right way :)
Cheezy alert!
I don’t know what it is that makes me love you so I only know I never want to let you go ‘Cause you started something, can’t you see That ever since we met you’ve had a hold on me It happens to be true I only want to be with you
second week...
of trying to rest, relax and feeel better. And honnestly, I thought it would be easier than that. Some days, I feel good and in a good mood, ride my bike in the coutry, smiling and laughin. Other days, I wake nauseous, almost crying, seeing everything dark. The medecine is doing its job pretty well, but loneliness is still there. It’s hard to talk to my parents about something I can’t...
Heart on sleeve, yeah right!
What the hell is wrong? Are we, girls, raised with fairytales by parents telling us we’ll grow up as princesses, living in golden castles? My ass. And you guys? Do you grow up thinking you’ll fight dragons or save some cities wearing a cape and tights? What if we grew up in a fucked up culture? Girls are drama queens, boys have no feelings. We’re all fucking victims in this...
What the hell was I expecting… guys are goldfishes, they forget everything… you throw yourself out there and two weeks later “uh, you really like me?”
Break...
I had a panic attack on saturday afternon, shaking and choking in my own place while watching Gossip Girl. I know I’ve been feeling overstressed and irritable because of work these last month, so I decided to catch the first train to my parents’. Having a nice break resting and trying to relax, hope it’s gonna work…
August 2010
4 posts
... or not...
One week without hearing from him and feeling better, just focusing on work and great news for my side-project. And when you think things are finally ok, boum. He twitted about the “restricting order” (i know it’s supposed to be “restraining” anyway) making him sad. My first reaction was “fuck, i don’t need that”. I mean, I was really moving on (like...
That's it!
I’m done! And apparently, he is too. I thought I would cry rivers and I’m relieved. Not thinking about him and not crying because of useless butterflies feels good, one problem solved. Some wise loved ones told me I can’t love someone I’m not with, they were fuckin’ right. The “one” is not the “one” if he’s not with you. I told myself the...
Watch
You could be my unintended...
many things happened since my last posts. Well, at least one which makes me very sad when I think about it. He came to my place and we had the weirdest/best time. We talked a lot (I guess he talks more than me which is something very rare haha) and cuddled. Did strange things that most “normal people” don’t do. I don’t know which planet we’re from but I guess it is...
July 2010
5 posts
it's been a while...
London was awesome. The Young Guns show was great and the after party was total chaos. Slept four hours before going back to Paris then catching my train to go to my parents’ for three weeks. Which is where I am now. Feels good being on holidays, doing nothing, resting, reading, spending quality times with loved ones.
Talking about love, I finally spilled it. My best male friend told me to...
Last week...
He gave me another sign on tuesday but didn’t hear from him since. I don’t feel bad about that, it will just help me moving on, which is the goal basically.
I had a blast hanging out with the Good Charlotte guys on wednesday, the twins are more than cool and nice. They played some songs from Cardiology for me before the show and this album will kick some serious arse. Always nice to...
*sighs*
That’s it, I told him we shouldn’t be in contact anymore because of the situation. I guess/hope he understood. This hole inside of me will heal real soon I wish. He didn’t seem very happy about that but respected my choice, I know he understands me as we’ve always been on the same page. He sent me a sign today which almost made me cry but it also meant we’re quite in...
Somewhere between Meg & Julia
I feel like I’m in “my best friend’s wedding” or “when Harry met Sally”. Timing is a bitch, and fate is too. He told me everything I wanted to hear but as the situation is what it is, I have no choice but move along, forget that I probably missed hapiness, I’ll never know how it feels like to be with him. We know eachother for ages, he hit on me when i was...
June 2010
3 posts
Damn...
Long time no post. I definitely suck at it. Attended my friends wedding this week end, it was amazing, magical and everything. I love England, I love London, I love my girls. Paris is very hot and I’m bored at the office. You see? not good at this thing :)
between bored & jaded.
To avoid deception, I’ trying to have lower expectations.
I know that’s not the best uplifting attitude but I’m fed up to see guys who I thought were great disappointing me every time.
This last one I was supposed to hang out with in the UK just didn’t answer my texts and simply didn”t show up, americans would call him a flaker. he was not some flirt I just met, we...
May 2010
1 post
Damned (If I Do Ya...)
The way guys from the past are back into my life is quite disturbing. My mind is playing tricks on me and I can’t help telling myself “maybe he’s the one since the beginning”.
I guess these questions come with age, as I’m done with shallow flirts and one night stands. I need brains and connection and I feel i can’t find them in new guys or something.
April 2010
3 posts
No Doubt, this guy is really my twin! .... →
Sarcasm is wonderful. When the man has robbed the underdog of all his power, the underdog still can talk shit to take the man down. I was an underdog my entire life. So I was always a sarcastic asshole. Because, in all honesty: everyone I’d met was full of shit. And so I spread my gospel. And…
Can’t stand my co-workers, thank gos, deadline is over. Sun is shining and this ash cloud from iceland didn’t seem to make us cough… Waiting for Cath to drink/watch the new nkotb dvd haha!
Very confused with this guy who can’t stop telling the sweetest things ever… can’t get his attitude towards me, if he likes, he’d better telle me, maybe he’s...
I’m leaving LA in two days, sad about it, don’t want to go back to Paris. Work, rain and problems… I didn’t miss them…
I saw J and it’s been an unexpected blast, the whole night was great. I wanna live in Hollywood and hang out on the strip every night.
March 2010
3 posts
Leaving to LA in four days, very excited but so worried about the amount of things i have to before taking off. Today my best friend (who’s in LA) told she thought she saw J in a bar Downtown… would be crazy, really.
Have to get those friggin’ Bamboozle accreds!!
: Daydream Away →
I wish you could see your face right now, ‘cause you’re grinning like a fool, and we’re sitting on your kitchen floor, on a tuesday afternoon, doesn’t matter when we get back, to doing what we do, ‘cause right now could last forever, just as long as I’m with you, We would go out on the weekend, …
I told you so!
I suck at updating a blog… too bad… I travelled a lot these weeks and i could have posted pics and cool stuffs… maybe i should tell myself this is like twitter ( which i’m addicted to) but with more possibilities… i’ll try to do that.
February 2010
2 posts
Had a blast yesterday, two hours of dream and so many more to deal with it. Now, i feel very empty and i realize living without butterflies is useless… I found myself having a major crush on someone i’ve spent an hour with, he’s hauting me, call it pathetic, i would totally agree with you….
go for it...
Today i started to fill forms to create my own company… fingers crossed…knock on wood… After all these years i’ll may be able to make it!!!
January 2010
3 posts
sunday thought...
There are days like this, my head is full of dreams, projects, goals, expectations. It always feels weird but makes me want to live these f**** dreams. I really want to stop thinking, it’s time for a positive change. I should stop procrastinating and dare to take some risks, make choices and get out of my comfort zone. Scary but very exciting!
hey there...
new comp, new blog… i often feel the need to open a blog but never been able to be a good blogger or to even tell my life online. this is my ultimate page, will see if i’ll update it or give it up after two weeks (as i usually do)…