Oh God, it’s been a long time since my last post. Guess i’ve been too busy with moving from Paris. But that’s it, I left the city for good. No more dramas, deception and useless questions.

Time for a fresh start, feels good. It’ll start with getting my driver’s licence, finding a job and a flat in Lyon.

As for boys and drama, I’ve had a few but nothing noticeable. What’s the point of falling for taken guys? There is none, fact.

Leaving Paris helped me to have a better mindset, far from shallowness and backstabers, and it feels amazing!

Xo

I like to think that i’m a pretty good kisser
I like to think I maybe broke a few hearts
But since I met you I’m a victim of disaster
I like to think I got it down to an art

So here’s where the problem starts
You’re shitting on my heart
Oh I can’t take it again and again and again

All I wanted from you
Was a night maybe two
You beat me at my own game
No, it’s not okay
I’m the one that’s missing out
All I needed to do
Was get just a taste of you
And now I’m sick all in my head
You poisened me instead
Trust me, trust me, I think I got heartbreak down

I like to wake and go to bed around whenever
I like to maybe come and go when I choose
But now I’m waiting for a text, call, whatever
What’s gotten into me, besides you (Oops!)
You’re like a rush, you’re like a drug, it’s just the sight of you
I like to think that I could kick you but it’s what you do
When you wink at me
What’s the lord think of me
For being so fucking weak, I find it hard for me to breathe

So here’s where my story ends

I got to make amends

I let me down
Again and again and again and again

All I wanted from you
Was a night maybe two
You beat me at my own game
No, it’s not okay
I’m the one that’s missing out
All I needed to do
Was get just a taste of you
And now I’m sick all in my head
You poisened me instead
Trust me, trust me, I think I got heartbreak down

Here’s what we have to do
Stay together, keep it true
Can’t be strong too late for cool
I won’t live without you
(You are not rid of me!)

All I wanted from you
Was a night maybe two
You beat me at my own game
No, it’s not okay
I’m the one that’s missing out
All I needed to do
Was get just a taste of you
And now I’m sick all in my head
You poisened me instead
Trust me, trust me, I think I got heartbreak down

I posted a while ago about how I tend to overestimate people, damn I did it again. Time to go back to the don’t-care-jaded me! And I’m not sad about it, expecting nothing is a form of relief. Learning disgusting things about people you used to care about sure helps!

First Day : Sadness & Crying, Second day : Anger & Revenge feeling, Today : I feel good and relaxed.
I guess I always knew he didn’t give a shit , so it’s no surprise. Guys are like starfishes, they have short time meory loss. I think he meant these things he did and said at the moment and woke up the next like nothing happenend. I know it’s kinda hard to accept to be shit after having been treated good but that’s life and there’s nothing we can do about it. Today a friend of mine tweeted : “Sometimes, you don’t have to know the answers. Just let it happen.” He’s so right.
But talking about answers, I would love to hear from the SP guys about the Warped Tour. Would love to spend a month with them on the road in the US, would be exactly what I need.
Anyway, let’s get ready for another without him and erasing him from my life.

When heart and mind dn’t get along, I’m stuck in between. I don’t see this ending well. I’m fuckin lost, I even wonder if leaving Paris is a good idea, I’m so missing my friends and the city. Carrie would never leave NYC, right? Well, the bitch can totally afford it when I can’t. And she ends up with Big when i don’t. Damn….

Good times for a change
See, the luck I’ve had
Can make a good man
Turn bad

So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time


Haven’t had a dream in a long time
See, the life I’ve had
Can make a good man bad


So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

I like to think he’s not playing but damn he’s good at confusing me. Saw him this week end and things went a bit too far,leaving me with doubts (but no regrets). I love him, that’s a fact, but after months of trying to keep on living, he’s back in my head with all these things he did and told me. I know I should expect nothing, it fuckin hurts. Fuck you guys, fuck you fairy tales…

haven’t posted for a while, nothing revelant to write about. taking care of myself, at least trying. Too much thoughts and questions in my head. Indecision and doubts about future feel like a burden I’m tired to carry. I’m starting to know what I want and don’t want but in some ways , I guess I’m waiting for some outside events and signs to help me know I’m on the right way… cos’ I don’t have all the puzzle pieces yet and the big picture is still a bit blurry… I know I created the choices I have to make, but I have to be 100% sure of what’s best for me. My friends and family are all supportive, which helps a lot. I know/hope better days will come cos’ I worked for it and I deserve it.

Nothing new under the sun of this last day of summer. Feeling slowly better, taking care of myself and stop caring about useless or hurting things… Guess I’m on the right way :)